You enter a room filled with strangers and wish you could talk but your tongue ties itself up in knots. You’re dying to talk to that beautiful/handsome stranger, but just can’t gather enough guts to approach him/her. When someone is talking and the others are laughing, you are usually among the others. Nervous and fidgety, that’s what describes you in a social gathering. Do these scenarios sound familiar to you? Don’t worry you are not alone! There are lots of people who simply withdraw into a shell in social situations. It’s not a disorder, it’ simply a problem of low self confidence, which is not very difficult to overcome, if you put your mind to it.
How to improve your social skills
Feeling inadequate, a negative body image, being uncomfortable with your looks or lack of confidence in your ability to converse are the primary reasons why people turn nervous and fidgety in social situations. The commonality between all these problems is that they are all the result of a negative thought process. If you can work out a way to stop the mind from making you self-conscious, nervous, embarrassed and worried in social situations, most of your problems will be solved. The following tips may be of help:
Positive Affirmations and Visualization
Positive affirmations can go a long way in improving your social skills. Try these simple exercises to build your self-confidence:
- Stand in front of the mirror every morning and say to yourself “I love and accept myself the way I am”. Repeat it to yourself at least 50 times everyday.
- Write down a positive affirmation about yourself on a piece of paper at least 10-20 times everyday. For instance you can write, “I approve of myself. I enjoy interacting with people. I am confident of myself and my abilities.”
- Take 5-10 minutes off everyday and visualize how you want to come across in social situations. Imagine yourself cracking jokes, chatting up strangers; looking and feeling great about yourself…imagine whatever you want!
However, affirmations will not produce instant results, that’s because affirmations take time to reach and influence the subconscious.
Working with the subconscious- Subliminal messages
One way to influence your subconscious directly so that you can get quicker results is through subliminal messages. Try listening to a subliminal message CD. These CDs come with audio messages that have been manipulated so that they are beyond the perception of your conscious mind but have the power to influence the subconscious. The audio messages are either embedded in music or are played in reverse (mixed with music). Often, these messages are moved above the level of human hearing (above 20,000 Hz). Believers of the power of subliminal messages claim that they can actually train your mind to relax and help you let go of your fears and anxieties. However subliminal messages and affirmations will produce results only if you are willing to let them help you.
Improving your social skills is not rocket science, all that you need is a little faith in your abilities and the willingness to help yourself. Doors leading to the road to self-improvement will open instantly.
Dan Bainbridge
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